A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he
approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to
close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my
patients and I'll give you fifty bucks."
"Yes, sir!" answers Buddy.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Buddy, How
was your day?"
Buddy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a
Headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo Buddy! The second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had a bad stomach and I gave him MAALOX, sir." says Buddy.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the
Doctor.
"Well Sir, I was sitting here having a smoke and suddenly the door flies opens
and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything
including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table and shouts: HELP ME
- I haven't seen a man in over two years
"Lard Tunderin' Yeezus, Buddy!!! What did you do?"
I put drops in her eyes!!
A Newfoundlander walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque. He
marched straight up to the counter and said,
"Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just
got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2009
Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long
hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on
her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have
as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in
her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.
The Newfie , just plain wide-eyed, said, ' You're bsn' me!'
The social worker said, ' Yeah, well . . You started it.
THIS WAS VOTED THE BEST SHORT JOKE OF 2007
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said,
"Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your
mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the
father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he
asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Joseph told him; "I was walking past
your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I
heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm
staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike!
What's in a name??
The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) is not just an
athlete...she is now a nurse, currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a
large
metropolitan hospital.
She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones
any
longer. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,
Picabo, I.C.U.
|
|