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A Irishman walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque. He
marched straight up to the counter and said,
"Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just
got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2009
Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long
hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on
her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have
as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as thedaughter is in
her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.
The Irishman , just plain wide-eyed, said, ' You're bullshittin' me!'
The social worker said, ' Yeah, well . . You started it.
The Irish Prostitute
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her
Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to
us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer
old Mother thru?'
The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...'
'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this
Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat,
title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For
me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes
limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the
country club........................ (takes a breath)............. And an
invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the
Riviera and.......'
'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'
'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug. |
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