A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love
my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a
tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he
sobbed.
A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god,
your left arm is gone!"
The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!"
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions
gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to
escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we
broke in!"
And you think lawyers don't have hearts. The best lawyer story
of all time...bar none.
The United Way realized that it had never received a
donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way
volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that
even though your annual income is over two million dollars,
you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give some
thing back to your community through the United Way?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your
research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful
illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to
pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I
didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, ' did it show that my brother, a
disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to
support his wife and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an
apology, but is cut off again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's
husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage
and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has
learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten,
says, I'm so sorry, I had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So... if I didn't give any money
to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?
Two Lawyers are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the
robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including
the Lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is going on Lawyer number one jams something in Lawyer number two's
hand. Without looking down, Lawyer number two whispers, "What is this?" to which
Lawyer number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you." |
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Skiing
Whistler is an incredible experience. Boasting over 200 runs across two
mountains and host to the 2010 Winter Olympics.